pen rainbow

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Thursday Mini-Post: 15 Ways to Get Past an Awkward Moment

Self-imposed awkwardness
through Josten's
I am the Queen of Awkward Moments

I'm not sure what happens, but I've been known to spew utter nonsense during awkward moments while at the same time elevating the definition of embarrassment to discombobulated mortification.

Like the time that I was shopping at Nordstrom's for a Christmas present for Steve.  A Greek god...posing as a sales associate walked up behind me and asked if he could help me find something in the men's department.

Perhaps blinded by his sheer physical beauty and his exquisitely tailored suit, I turned to answer and cheerfully babbled, "Yes, I'm looking for some sex...I mean SOME SOCKS!"  Then, I slunk out of the store like the apparent deviant that I am.

Or, there was the time when I was walking around the reservoir in my own little world looking at dandelions and Canadian geese, and an acquaintence from my days as a cooperative preschool mom shot by me like Secretariat with his tail on fire.

"Hi!" she smiled.  "You look great!!"  :::zooooommm::::

By the time that I could form a coherent thought, she was on the other side of the parking lot.  And of course, I did not slow my pace, evidently so that I could prove to the 20 or so strangers who were now between us that I, too, could power walk like a triathlete.

I look great...okay, the correct response to that would be...

"Hiiiiii!!!  You're BEAUTIFUL!!" I bellowed for all to hear.  

What?!!  Hell no!  Not "You're BEAUTIFUL!"  What was I saying?!  Shuttttt uppppp, you simpering moron before I say anything else!  I may have followed up with, "I loooovvve you!"  I can't's all a horrible blur.

These made me LOL!  Thanks to Twisted for reminding me that there is hope for the terminally awkward!