pen rainbow

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday—Good For You, Good for Not Getting Shot by Your Appliances

 This coulda happened in Nevada...just sayin'


do not trust this ^^^

I've been tweeting the Boulder City police blotter for a while, but I've yet to see this one make the BC Review.  It's only a matter of time, though.  Technically, no crime was committed, and the oven was not charged.  Click HERE for the full story (thnx to the happy folks at HappyPlace.com)  

...sigh...  

Anyhoo, here are 6 handy household tips to avoid being shot by your oven.

Handy Tip #1:

Do not store high-capacity magazines in your oven!  

And, I'm not talking about the latest swimsuit issue of Sports Ilustrated with that nearly naked woman on the front.  To be clear, I mean bullets—the kind that fly out of pistols, rifles, and muzzleloaders.

Handy Tip #2:

Always and without fail check ovens for live ammunition if you live in Florida, especially if you're anywhere near St. Petersburg where, apparently, this kind of thing happens.

Handy Tip #3:

Signage.  Post a warning in or around the vicinity of your oven so that innocent people who are craving waffles won't accidentally get shot.  It's common sense, people!
  
good signage = good sense!

Handy Tip #4:

Do not trust your appliances and possibly your bathroom fixtures if you live in Florida.

Handy Tip #5:

Buy a bullet-proof apron and a Kevlar toque.

Handy Tip #6:
Just in case...Keep a jar of quarters in the microwave for the bus trip to the hospital.