pen rainbow

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday—Good For You, Good for Not Getting Shot by Your Appliances

 This coulda happened in Nevada...just sayin'

do not trust this ^^^

I've been tweeting the Boulder City police blotter for a while, but I've yet to see this one make the BC Review.  It's only a matter of time, though.  Technically, no crime was committed, and the oven was not charged.  Click HERE for the full story (thnx to the happy folks at  


Anyhoo, here are 6 handy household tips to avoid being shot by your oven.

Handy Tip #1:

Do not store high-capacity magazines in your oven!  

And, I'm not talking about the latest swimsuit issue of Sports Ilustrated with that nearly naked woman on the front.  To be clear, I mean bullets—the kind that fly out of pistols, rifles, and muzzleloaders.

Handy Tip #2:

Always and without fail check ovens for live ammunition if you live in Florida, especially if you're anywhere near St. Petersburg where, apparently, this kind of thing happens.

Handy Tip #3:

Signage.  Post a warning in or around the vicinity of your oven so that innocent people who are craving waffles won't accidentally get shot.  It's common sense, people!
good signage = good sense!

Handy Tip #4:

Do not trust your appliances and possibly your bathroom fixtures if you live in Florida.

Handy Tip #5:

Buy a bullet-proof apron and a Kevlar toque.

Handy Tip #6:
Just in case...Keep a jar of quarters in the microwave for the bus trip to the hospital.