Monday—Marriage Humor

Have a fun week!

marriage humor

The beach in kauai_photo by tin

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...
but who wants to live in an institution?"
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married...and then it was too late."
-- Anonymous

"Marriage has no guarantees.  If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
-- Erma Bombeck

"Teach him to fight fair during arguments.  I hate nasty little things like when Fang says, 'Well then, it's just my word 
against your 2,000."
-- Phyllis Diller

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
-- Mignon McLaughlin

"I don't think my wife likes me very much.
When I had a heart attack, she wrote
for an ambulance."
-- Frank Carson

"Married men live longer than single men.
But, married men are a lot 
more willing to die."
-- Johnny Carson

"Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."
-- Alan King

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."
-- Woody Allen 

"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy négligée.  Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
-- Rodney Dangerfield

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